


He Should Be

by Starlight_Daylight



Category: Glee
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Moving On, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 23:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7778638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight_Daylight/pseuds/Starlight_Daylight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to my previous one shot - 'Inevitable'. </p><p>Kurt is coping with the break up with his long-term boyfriend after catching him cheating. Well, he should be coping with it, after all, it's been weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Should Be

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this story because it's been prompted by a user to do Kurt's self-recovery. So after 3 months, I came up with this fic. I'm sorry if it's not that detailed but I hope you guys still enjoy it nevertheless :D

It’s been 3 weeks since he’s been living with Rachel. It’s been 3 weeks since he walked out of his home and found himself back in his old apartment, trying to get use to how things are now.

 _Talk about déjà vu huh?_ Kurt thought wryly as he took another spoonful of his favorite cheesecake ice-cream, staring listlessly at the box in front of him showing moving pictures that talks. A tv. That was what it was.

His eyes flicker to his phone that was laying innocently on the table in front of him, screen filled with cracks from the time he decided he was ready to pick up one of his calls. Turns out, he wasn’t ready at all and his phone had to suffer the repercussions of his ill-thought decisions.

The only thing different about this break-up is that, he didn’t look the part of a heartbroken man. Unlike with his previous break-up with Blaine that made him stay in bed 24/7, covered with snot-filled tissues and candy wrappers, Kurt right now, looks fine. Perfectly fine. No puffy eyes from crying all night, no dark circles from lack of sleep and no mismatched outfits. Perfectly fine.

As Kurt took another spoonful of ice cream, he heard the front door unlocked and came in a singing Rachel Berry.

“Kurt!” the latter exclaimed as she walked into the living room, “you’re home early.”

Kurt lifted the tub of ice-cream as a form of acknowledgement,“ Isabelle told me to go home and get some rest. I have no idea where she got the idea that I needed rest though. I’m perfectly fine.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow, giving Kurt a pointed look, showing that she didn’t believe him one bit.

“Don’t give me that look Rachel Berry. I am fine. I think a couple of days moping over him is long enough. I just want to put things behind me and focus on my career.”

Letting out a harrumph, Rachel walked towards Kurt and took a seat next to him. She pursed her lips, trying to think of something to say.

“It’s okay to be hurt Kurt,” she started of gently, “as much as I didn’t like your relationship with him, you loved him and you’ve been with him for a long time. You don’t have to put a brave face for anybody.”

Kurt rolled his eyes before placing his tub of ice cream down on the table.

Before Kurt could retort back, Rachel quickly cut him off, “Sebastian.”

“We agreed to never say his name in this house Rachel Berry!” Kurt suddenly burst out, feeling the ache that he was trying so hard to ignore, creeping back into his heart, “I just want to forget everything’s that happened okay Rach? I just want to forget him.”

He took a deep breath before breathing out shakily. He is fine. He is nothing but fine. Nothing hurts anymore. He doesn’t need people worrying about him. Once he got his emotions in check, Kurt stood up from the couch, mumbling that he wanted to be alone right now before heading to his room. He ignored the worried gaze from Rachel as he walked away. He is fine.

“Rachel?” Kurt halted, turning his head slightly to face his best friend, “love. Not loved.”

Maybe he is not so fine after all. But he should be, it's been 3 weeks after all.

* * *

Kurt flipped open his sketch pad, gnawing the end of his pencil as he stared critically at his last design. Isabelle was impressed with it and wasn't afraid in telling him so, although she did give him a side eye after she passed him back his sketch pad. Something about the model being familiar. So what that the model seemed to be 6 feet tall and had a defined jawline with captivating green eyes wearing a fitted green polo tee? It could be anyone. It could be no one.

It could be someone too, a voice whispered at the back of Kurt's head causing him to bite particularly hard on the pencil. He glared hard as his eyes focuses on the face of the model before removing his pencil from his mouth and drawing harsh scribbles on the face.

Letting out a strangled scream of frustration, Kurt angrily tossed aside his sketch pad and brought his knees close to his chest, hugging it. He stared blankly at the partition curtains, willing his mind not to drift of to memories of him. Maybe he wouldn't mind so much if they drifted off towards that particular night that brought him back home. He wouldn't particularly mind if they drifted off towards earlier years, the high school era to be specific. But no, it's like his mind is trying to taint every happy memory he had with him by making him recall them, only to have him feel like everything was lies.  
Every laughter. Every smile. Every anniversaries. Every fights. Every make up. _Every. Damn. Thing._

They were nothing but lies, Kurt thought bitterly as he clawed into his thigh. That thought should have comforted him, in an odd twisted way. It should make him forget everything they shared more easier. He would be fine if he continued replaying memories on repeat, reminding him that everything meant nothing to either of them.

But he wasn't fine. But he should be, it been 5 weeks after all.

* * *

 "What the hell are you doing in my house?" Kurt demanded as he stared at the intruder bewilderedly.

He squeezed shut his eyes for a few seconds before reopening them, somehow convinced that what he was seeing was just a mirage or something. Just a figment of his cruel cruel imagination.

"Rachel let me in," the intruder nervously answered, "she also wanted me to tell you that she locked the door and stolen your keys and won't come back until you solve your problems."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at the door behind the latter, as though mentally willing it to open. He didn't have any problems to solve. He was fine. He's meeting every deadline set up for him at Vogue.com. He calls his dad once a week to check up on him. He still goes for a jog every morning. Sometimes with Rachel. Sometimes without. He made sure he has three healthy meals a day. He was fine. How was that _not_ fine? Things were certainly fine.

"Well, my problem would be solved if you leave Sebastian," Kurt snarled, folding his arms across his chest, feeling his heart beating wildly against his ribcage at the mention of his name.

Sebastian ruffled his hair in irritation, opening his mouth every few seconds before closing it again abruptly. Kurt stiffened as he watched his former boyfriend's eyes dart up and down the length of his body, carefully studying him.

"You look well, Kurt," the latter finally decided to settle on those words.

If Kurt wasn't seething then, he certainly was now. He glared at the latter as though those words offended him. Well, it did. Refusing to give the man in front of him any more power he had over him, Kurt subtly clenched and unclenched his fist, as though daring him to retaliate or to say anything else.

Right now, although Kurt is closer to Sebastian than he has ever been these past 5 weeks, I mean he is just standing 3 feet away from him, Kurt has never felt further apart. It's as though their souls are miles apart, slowly getting further and further away. And it hurts. _It fucking hurts a ton._

But Kurt was done being angry, with being hurt, being wounded to the core with everything and anything that reminded him of the man he loves. More than anything, he wants to be truly fine. Finally deciding that he was done avoiding everything that would bring him back to that fateful night, now he just wanted to say the things he didn't get to say back then.

"You cheated on me Sebastian," he accused, voiced still laced with the same amount of betrayal as that night, "I love you through everything. Despite of Finn, my dad, Rachel, all of my New Direction friends, even David Kurofsky, who did nothing but spoke up on their worries of me being with you. It's like you didn't care. It's like you wanted to prove them _right_."

He inwardly cringed when his voiced cracked, trying so hard to keep himself together but he knows if he lets Sebastian says his part, let him explain himself, he is going to break. Kurt knew that was being unfair, not allowing Sebastian to say anything. Well, the last time he was cheated on and allowed his then boyfriend to explain where he was coming from, he got blamed for his cheating ways. Frankly, he doesn't want to deal with the same bullshit again.

"Babe..." Sebastian started, inching closer to the man in front of him, although halting almost immediately when Kurt raised his hand to stop him from getting any closer.

"One, don't "babe" me. And two, I'm trying to move Sebastian and you being here isn't really helping," Kurt sighed, suddenly feeling defeated, "I'm trying to be okay and accept the fact that I've been cheated not once, but twice in my only two relationships I've had."

He never allowed to venture into the fact that both of his long-term relationship ended with the other cheating on him. It could be because he didn't want to think that there was a possibility that he was truly at fault for both relationship. That he wasn't there when Sebastian needed him, that Sebastian was feeling lonely when Kurt was so caught up with his work. Shaking his head furiously, a futile attempt to get rid of those thoughts, he focused his attention back to Sebastian.

Without saying another word, Kurt pointed to the direction of the door where Sebastian came from before turning around to go to his room.

 _As long as he doesn't bother me, I don't give a damn o_ n what he does.

"Kurt," Sebastian called out, "if it means anything, I know I've made a mistake. The thing I had with him was a one time thing, a fling. I'm sorry."

Breathing in sharply through his mouth, he steadied his breath before replying, voice laced with hurt, "no. The mistake was trusting you."

* * *

Kurt would like to pretend that things got better afterwards, that after expressing the amount of pain he was going through to the man that caused him that pain would somehow take away the pain. Yeah, he knows that it was a screwed up logic. It made sense to him then, it somehow still makes sense to him now.

Although things didn't ultimately got better, Kurt was learning to move on, to deal with the ache in his heart whenever he walked past their favourite cafe or when he wakes up in the middle of the night due to a reoccurring nightmare of his father's heart attack, expecting a soothing back hug as a method to calm him down. He's coping. He wasn't fine yet, but he will be.

After all, it's been 7 months. He'll be fine.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh dear, it's been awhile since I've been here. It's been 2 months ish since I've last updated/posted anything. My apologies but life has gotten pretty hectic these past two months and it's still kinda hectic. Hopefully I'm able to write more when my semester break comes in mid September <3


End file.
